reality unveiled

some days ago marked the day which everything seems to "shui luo shi chu".

define a perfect life.
rich family background, a perfect love life,
good looks, smart and many more.
many hope to achieve aspects of such a perfect life.
but, they always end up suffering in the end.
these people tend to be the most influential people.
when things go wrong,
they tend to be the last group of people that outsiders will blame.

they dont dare to confront their own problems.
they only whine about it-
saying that if the next time such stuffs happen again they will what what what.
but in the end,
it's all "kong kou shuo bai hua" only.

it hurts a lot.
"di sheng xia qi" to make peace with them and what do we get in the end?
hostility!!!!!!!!!
sorry for the harsh tone.
i just really hate it.
i bear grudges! at least i'm not afraid to say it, unlike others.

the first time in my whole entire 18 years of living i'm doing so and what do i get in turn?
such stupid treatment! is it worth it then?!

stupid or naive or gullible you may call me.
but , somehow, i still trust people.
i'm still trusting people to such an extent that i dont mind me being the one who's suffering in silence.
i'm still trusting people to such an extent that i cried almost every night for the stupidest stuff.

but, i guess life's not about all these SHITTY stuff.
at least there're still people out there who cares for me and will stick by me.
what other people said in the past mean nothing anymore.
i rather direct all my attention, love and care to those who will always be there.

no matter what, i'll still trust You.
i know that all men are fallible.
i know that You can only be the one who's able to give me unconditional love.

i vow to study hard.
i'll prove to them and the others out there that,
i'll shine so much for You.

i'll prove to them that i may not be able to have a perfect life but at least it's a fulfilling one - one without regrets! :)

*twenty seven days till the big A*

hmms.
This week had been rather eventful fer me.
Lots of laughters as well as lots of tears.
Haha.
Realised a great deal abt my life.
It ain't that simple to be me either.
alot of ppl seem to think that I have a great life and all.
Haha.
If only, everything is as simple as that...

`ireallyreallywishtobehappier..

=(

Sick and Broken-ed
what more can I say? hais

* Augustine's Wedding *

30 September, the most important day of Augustine's life.

He's finally married! =)

Am so happy fer him.

Morning.. Met Flor, GS, Eugene at cck ctrl.
Rushed to Northvale Condo fer the matrimony.
Nicenicenice.
The bride, qianwen, is so beautiful in her white tube gown..
Urms.. the exhange of marriage vows didn't actually touched me as much as I had tot it wud be. mine wud be different! hees.
Sneaked away immediately after the prayers fer the newly-wed, to escape frm phototaking.
Hehs. Am camera-shy mahs.
Went to sit ard during the reception before we went to get food for ourselves.

Ard twelve plus, me n flor went to gene's place fer movie.
Watched "Just my luck".
It's sooooo nice lahs.
Well, at least fer me lahs.
I really enjoyed it.
After movie, we went back sch 'cause gene left his black formal shoes ther.
Went back his place after that.
Flor went to iron all the clothes that me n gene need while I went to cook lunch.
Hung ard fer abit then me n gene went over to the condo next dr to meet the rest.
Crammed into the backseat of the car were five of us.
Plus nidda endure insentivity n mushy chats.
Poor me n gene.
Reached NUS guildhouse where the dinner will be held.
Though small, the ambience is great! On par with ane ballroom of a hotel.

Did sum ushering.. slacked ard then we went fer the dinner.
We were seated with my teacher's family frens.
Their boys are sooooo cute!!
I love the bride's gown n hairstyle!!
SO gorgeous lahs. She's wearing the nicenicenice tiara!! *envy*
Urms.. the MCs were ALRIGHT la. but the chinese translator wus sucky.
Food wus alright.

The BIG surprise of the night!!
Augustine sang a Chinese song - qing fei de yi, fer the bride.
take note: augustine can't speak proper chinese, don't understand chinese.
He not only tried to perfect his pronounciation, he also went to understand the meaning of the lyrics so tt he cld relate it well.
Isn't that so sweet of a guy?
Though it wus a great rendition, but I really applaud him fer his courage n love.
The bride wus in tears lahs.
Such a touching moment. *sniff sniff*
Don't think aneone wud ever do this fer me..=(

the night wus great.
except fer sum stupid disturbances here n there.
Lucky gene's ard.
But I really wished that Jer wus there lahs.
He would be able to handle everything.and that bastard wud hafta stab himself with the fork lahs.<br> But.. hais.. I jus dun wanna be part of the "when the present meets the past" headlines lahs.
N oh ya,
matt's hair caught fire while we were all up onstage fer the last toast.

Reached home real late n totally worn out.
Am still exhausted now.
But it's finally over.
Oh wells.
Congrats to the groom and best wishes to the bride den =)

*More pictures=D*

Here are some PHOTOS OF THE YEAR.
Some of my favourites, taken this year.=)
My Love -- Icecream Puffs. *yummielicious*
PRF -- full attendance =D my loves =)
You jump, I jump.. * my darLing & baba *
Such a sweet sweet smile *Leen on her 18th bdae*
My true love -- tangtang =D *so adorable!!*

Picture Updates =D

Today's FLORENCE SIEW YU MIN's burfdae!
My darling's so pretty and happy today.
Things were really great =D
Happy happy happy!!
*touched expression*
my darling still looks so beautiful even when she cries. *aww*
*wishing upon ICECREAM PUFFS*
that's US - PRF =D *done by me.. isn't it artistic?*
dedicated to the one whus scared of PEAs from today onwards.

** September is coming to an end **

hmms..
Ain't in a great mood today.
Still have alittle bit of disappointment inside of me.
Nahs.. it's got nothing to do with exams. have given up on my prelims ler.
Haish.
Jus feeling so xin hui yi leng.
Nvber felt lyke that before.
Haish.
Wus talking to boyfren last night.
Just cried lorhs.
Just felt so dumb.
Wus wondering why we are putting in so much effort.
Ya, true..we are not obliged to.
But the reason why we are trying so hard and all, is 'cause we really cherish the person.
Isn't it so?
Haish. I don't what to say anymore.
Am too upset.
Now, I don't even feel lyke doing what I have planned fer everyone.
Maybe I might feel much better when I go out later to have icecream.

I have found a new love!!

Just found a new love.
Aren't you all happy fer me?
okayokay.. My boyfren has been great all the while.
But yups.
I've got a new love!!
Here's a picture of my new love!! =DDD

Don't you just find him CUTE?
And he just loves xiaoliu the doggy.
He just gave me a sweet goodnight kiss.
N he jus asked cutely if he cld bring xiaoliu the doggy home.
Hehehs.
He is too cute to resist!!
AHH!!

**PISSED OFF DAY**

Exams are tortuous.
Brain-cells killing.
I have absolutely no confidence to do well at all.
Getting more and more disappointed in myself after each paper.
Feeling lyke such a failure.
Feel like crying it all out.
But no point.. I need a shoulder.
I don't wanna cry alone.
But at the same time, I don't aneone to see me crying.
Haha. Contradictory.
*shrugs*
I guess I'll find some other way to release the stress that is building up within me.
A walk, maybe.

** GOOD LUCK to everyone **

Yupyups. The long awaited ONE has arrived.
Prelims are starting tml.
Hehehs.
GP is giving the headstart.
Prays that I'll have an easy paper. prays hard..
Oh wells.. jus wanna wish all GOOD LUCK!
Hang on in there no matter how tough the going gets.
Cause, in no time..
It's PARTYTIME =DDD
Yayness.. I love parties!!!

`superficial lovers think that they have to meet to not miss each other. Being physically present is not a should-be. It's a gift... philo right? it's frm my fren's nick.

Language of Roses . .

1 Rose~Exceptional love all concentrated on you.
2 Roses~Two of us deeply in love.
3 Roses~I love you.
6 Roses~I want to be yours.
9 Roses~Love each other eternally.
11 Roses~You are the one I love most in my life.
12 Roses~Satisfactory union and mutual affinity.
13 Roses~Secret admirer.
24 Roses~Remember fondly every moment(24 hours cannot forget you).
33 Roses~Saying "I love you" with PROFOUND LOVE.
36 Roses~Feeling romantic attachment becauseyou come tome.
44 Roses~Constant unchangeable pledge.
50 Roses~This is "Regretless Love".
56 Roses~My love.
66 Roses~Successful love affair.
99 Roses~Love with understanding makes love eternal.
100 Roses~Harmonious union in a century, remain a devoted couple 'till ripe-old age.
101 Roses~No other love but you.
108 Roses~Please marry me!
111 Roses~Eternal love.
123 Roses~Free love.
144 Roses~Loving you day and night eternally.
365 Roses~Thinking of you everyday, love you everyday.
999 Roses~Everlasting and eternal love.
1001 Roses~Faithful love, 'till forever.

Oh my goodness.
I didn't know there are so many meanings.
Haha. I wanna have 1001 roses too!
Hehehs. This is no hint lahs
Who wouldn't want?
just that it wud be an utter waste of money.
OKay.. back to studying lers..

`imisshim..i dun wan missing him to become a routine..=(

* ihavenoideawhattoputasmytitle *

EMOEMOEMOEMO.
So affected by stuffs happening.
argh.
My tear ducts have been rather active recently.
Hehehs.
Jus read Zhao's blog.
Hais. Found him quite lyke the old me..
And stuffs that he's going through, is so much alike lahs.
Rweally wished he would learn to open abitbit.
if you're reading this, jus wanna let you noe that you're in my prayers..

Prelims are coming.
Hehehs.
I just wanna pull it off with nice passes this time.
THEN I'll MUG really hard fer my As.
Haha. Ridiculous thinking.

`I always don't get what I reallyreally want. That's life, I guess?

*blank*

Today's a Sunday not too well-spent.
Went to the hair salon to cut my hair.
Seriously, I've no freaking idea why I decided to cut it short.
Am kinda regretting it now.
I look WEIRD.is there any word worse than weird?
What's worse I have to go back to school tml!!
*bangs head on the wall*
Haish.

Ysd night talked to zhaoqi online.
Haish. Can't do anething much to help.
'Cause I'm unhappy as well.
An unhappy being can't bring happiness to another.
I wanna be happy again!

`even in crowds, I still feel lonely...

Saturday

It's a weekend again.
Wasted my whole morning.
Can't really get into the mood of studying at all.
Feel lyke a failure, wasting my life away...
The emptiness in me is so unbearable.
Don't like life this way.
Hmms. Might be going to Msia later, if possible.
But meanwhile, I'm going to force myself to study.
I know I hafta.
It's not a choice anemore.
I'm MIA-ing. . .

Happy Teacher's Day =D

Wanna wish all great teachers.. "Happy Teacher's Day!"
Thanks for all your guidance and efforts.
All my teachers are rweally great!!

Now fer sum updates.

Wednesday -- Teacher's Day Eve
It felt lyke a Friday that day,
fer sum unknown reasons.
Went shopping fer sum gifts..
Got two dvds n went on the way home with Flor.
Met my darling Minglin at Woodlands Interchange.
Such great coincidence!
Three of us just stood in the middle of nowhere and started chitchatting.
Hehehs. Dey were the mad ones.
NOT ME!! =P
Miss minglin sososo much.
It's been so long since I've a proper chat with her, and not to say, going out with her.
Haish.
Anewaes, am so happy to know that she's happily attached.
At night, after dinner, me n flor just went mad singing in the room.
hehehs. Future Stars=D
This is not bhb-ism.
It's known as CONFIDENCE=D

Thursday -- Teacher's Day
The concert.. hehehs.. cldn't rweally make it lahs.
Evan's band didn't get to perform at their full potential.
Due to the POOR sound system. argh!
But szemin's voice wus rweally POWER.
Other performances were so-so only lahs.
The dance club's dance wus guys'-attention-grasping, but it's not really a good dance lorhs.
Met up with darling Celest, boon n jingyi to make our way back to BPGHS.
SUZY and Mr. KUEK REMEMBER ME!
Didn't expect them to. tot I wus a pretty low-profiled GOOD student.=P
Cld recognise all the teachers despite my poor memory.
Walked ard school to relive the old feelings..
Visited the NPCC rm wif boon n jingyi, but it wus locked.
Went to the classrooms, but it wus occupied.
Hung ard at courtyard and waited fer the guys to make up their minds.
Saw a couple of junior ex bpians.
Den we walked all the way to lot one with boon playing 'ji ba ban' on his hp.
Ate brekkie at Mac.
Den Home Sweet Home; not in the mood to go out.

Became kinda anti-social recently.
Just not rweally in the mood of mingling around, I guess?
I know I'm normally extremely sociable.. but due to me being a 'mixed-horo',
yups. there are certainly days where I just wanna be left alone.

`the emptiness in me is becoming too much for me to handle . .

** WEEKENDS are here again **

Yayness!
It's the weekends.
Actually, I have nothing to look forward to anymore.
Feeling kinda pointless.
Todae, Mr. Yeo gave an examination prep talk.
"War is not a priority; it's the ONLY priority."
I knew it, I understood it.
But, sumhow I would not do it.
For some unknown reasons, he would still remain as my top priority.
Even though I know how important the next seventy days meant to me.
Haish.
I feel so dumb.

Found this at friendster again.
Entitled as what gurls want n what most guys won't do.
How true is it depends on each individual, I guess?

`Leave her cute text msges.this wud definitely brighten up her day n make her smile.
`Kiss her in front of your friends.makes her feel cherished.
`Trust her over everyone else.it meant so much more than anething else to be trusted.
`Tell her she looks beautiful.say it truthfully n sincerely.
`Look her in the eye when you talk to her.it's a form of respect n she can feel ur sincerity.
`Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.she wud be happy no matter how dumb the jokes are.
`Let her mess with your hair.it's a form of affection.
`Just walk around with her.even if you find it dumb, she's just trying to spend more time with you.
`Include her in everything you do.no gurl wud wanna feel neglected, since you're always her top priority.
`When she cries, do whatever it takes to make her smile.it wud mean alot to her.
`Forgive her for her mistakes.rmb her fer all the sweet things she does fer you, not dwell on small mistakes.
`Look at her lyke she's the only gurl you see.all gurls wud want that.
`Hold her hand even when you are with your friends.it's not a sin to hold hands wen your friends are ard.
`Let her fall asleep in your arms.make her feel loved n secured.
`Get her mad and then kiss her.she wud smile eventually.
`Stay up with her when she's sick.she wud appreciate it n love you more.
`Give her the world.no hesitations.
`Write letters to her.it wud mean alot to her. letters are good ways of communication.
`When she is sad, hang out with her.that's the only thing she wants.
`Let her know that she's important.gurls always need assurance.
`Let her take all the photos of you she wants.she only wants to have memories of you esp when you are not goin to be ard.
`Call her every night.it wud give her sumthing to look forward to everyday.
`Kiss her in the rain.romantic, isn't it?
`Love her like you'd never loved before.'cause she's alrdy doing that.

Going off now.
I wanna learn to concentrate.
No more distractions.
tata~

Fun Nightout

Ysd was great!
MORE than great.
It's been so long since we hung out.
All seven of us=)
It was a happy night out.

Let rewind alittle.
In the morning, we gave the nice photoframe with the picture collage to leen, the burfday gurl.
Sum tramautizing events took place right after.
Our good 'sister' touched baba's hands and hugged leen.
Causing them to run out of class and headed fer the toilet at lightning spees.
See how powerful our good 'sister' is?

Had maths test.
Quite easy, I guess.
Just wish I can pass nicely=)
Den went over to the grandstand fer Sports Meet.
hmms. Darwinian runners were great, but some still lost to the Owens runners.
What a waste!
I wasn't really enjoying the whole thing 'cause good 'sister' was so close to me.
And she was freakingly high.
Not to say being enthu is a bad thing, but her enthusiasm is weird.
Okay, biased point of view, I know.
Got so suffocated that eventually I moved over to sit with Spidey.
Wanted to get FEI to save me de.
But he was so faraway.

After Sports Meet, we headed fer Clarke Quay.
Wanted to have Chocolate Fondue.
But they didnt have it.
Shit lah.
And I just stood there, terrorising the waiter.
Hehehs.
Can't blame me; I was just too disappointed.
Walked to Hans Place fer dinner eventually.
It's eight plus then.
And everyone was worn n famished after all the walking, crazy phototaking.
Urms.. Didn't quite lyke the food.
The quality still have lotsa room fer improvements.
Hehehs.

Hmms.. Served leen's bday cake to her whilst she was still going mad in her game.
Poor gurl.
She was tortured by all of us.
BUT esp, the demoness of stupidity.
And that's none other than my darling.
Ohh!! She love the adidas jacket!!
Yayness! =D
Then came the emo part,
Leen just had to start giving emo speech.
Caused me to tear.
Argh.
Everyone was super high ther lah.
My darling, eileen, von n liyi were all going so mad even before they drank alcohol.
Can't imagine what wud happen if they did.

Took lotsa nice pictures lahs.
Shall upload them with my next entry.
Am sleepy now.
Was woken up by the construction work.
And I slept rather late THIS MORN!!
Shitto!
Am contemplating whether to move out temporarily during my preparation fer exams n my exam period.
I'll die of sleep deficiency!
If ever there is such a term.
Heheh.
Prelims are NEAR-ing.
And I'm dead-ed.=(

Saw this at my dearest baba's blog. And so, decided to do it fer fun. hehe.

The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.(:

I miss somebody right now. missing my boyfren.
I don’t want TeeVee these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
USUALLY I curse sometimes.
I have changed alot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.wishing hard.
I've broken someone’s bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I like sushi.love them in fact.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have alot of moodswings.quite a fair bit, i guess.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.that's jus me!
I have alot of friends.love dem all=D
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.yupyups. esp with my boyfren.
I practically live in trackpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.which gurl doesn't?
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.and i can't live w/o it.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.aww.. kids are so adorable!!
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.yayness! =D
I have alot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I would die for my best friends.
I think Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.correction:Guy. only my boyfren.
I study for tests most of the time.i'm a slacker.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I am comfortable with who i am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot whenever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.it's so ridiculous that you wudnt wan to knoe.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I work at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.yesyesyes!! absolutely!
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I want to go to a college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.frm my dear, tt's. And hugs frm ppl I lyke.
I fell for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I can't whistle.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal i’ve written in.
I can't stick to a diet.it's sad, isn't it?
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.idont hafta do tt. Haf got a sucky memory.
Climbing trees are a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tatoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

And so, I m stabbing.. Weiquan, eileen, peiling, kaijie n eric =D

*deeply hurtx*

I cried.
This time, it was subconsciously that I did so.
Tears flowed ever so naturally.
Perhaps, 'cause my heart was hurting badly?
Perhaps, it's 'cause it hurts me to see my darlings cry?
Perhaps. . .

Things just suck so badly.
And, it's only now when you come to realise how much frens care.
Even simple msges mean alot.
Daily goodnite msges frm junhao senior.
To some, it may be merely a simple gesture.
But at least, in times of darkest, you know that there is someone who rmbs you.
Even a short msg of concern matters alot to me.
" Are you ok?" , " You forgot to smile today."
Gonna thank khaiboon n kaijie.
Am really touched.
At least, people still care.
At least, these people are still around.
They are the ones who allow me to continue hoping..
And I thank God fer them.

`besides loneliness, feeling unloved is the next worst feeling.

*pictures!!*

My best-est, great-est, prett-iest gurlfrens =D
Yvonne n me! *my darLing bestie*
me n stEr *my dear bestie*
BABA n ABAB!! *grins* - her smile is so nice!!
Florence n me! *my kbox buddy*

**national day eve**

National day eve.
Okay. It's not my country's national day.
BUt heys, I've spent half my existing lifetime here in Singapore.
And what's more, it's here that I met great people, great friends =D
And so, I must say,
I LOVE SINGAPORE ! =DD *grins*

argh. wanted to upload pretty pics here.
But blogger got sum dumb probs.
Sianned.
Kinda enjoyed this year celebration.
Me n flor were busy cam-whoring while the VIPs were making their entrance
And you noe what?
Spidey appeared in every single photo lahs
*ling yi zhao pian* -'ghostly appearance' *evil grins*
And me n flor kept bothering him with our singing.
Evil us.
But he didn't seem to mind, so alright lorh.

OKay.
I am feeling very sleepy now.
But, I'm goin to go write a testimonial fer Spidey, before I go play chess with Zhou Gong.
BUhbye.

*forcedsmile*

Lost my smiles.
As in, really smiling right from the heart.
Miss those happy feelings..
Can anyone tell me where can I find them back?
Feel so jaded now. =,(
Can sumone please help me?

`imissyouso.

=DD

HELLO!
hello! hello! hello!
I am just home from the night study programme!
Felt so much of an achievement...
First time, I did so much homework lehs.
Even Paul says, he is proud of me.
*grins*

Boyfren is proud of me too!
Lurves him so much.
My boyfren is the best!
His msges.. *heex*
Miss him sososo muchie..
oh. I think I am lovesick *hugs*

Yayness!
Tomorrow's Friday.
the DAY before the WEEKENDS!
*grinsss*
So happy!! ^^
Finally, can get some well-deserved rest.
Been feeling so burned out recently.
Though, changing is tough, but I'll strive on.
It's SMU, not SIM. *hehe*

`imissmyboyfren.

*bored expression*

Tuesdays are boring.
Total boredom.
Had tough rugby todae again.
Love the sun!! *smiles*
Got rather burnt, though.
Ran with my darling and did situps too..
Wus abit exhausted since I haven been exercising much lately.
Plus, I'm still recovering from a thigh injury. =(
And I actually agreed to sprint with Flor.
I must be MAD.

Decided to do this to pass time.
Not in the mood to study anewaes.

1. what do you do when you're mad?
~ I'll get very cranky. And would be rather tactless with my words. *beware!!*

2. what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
~ Can't really rmb.

3. ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
~ Urms. Don't think so. I am not that powDERful *heh*

4. ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?
~ ehhs. Nopes. Am rather civilised=D

5. do you curse when you're mad?
~ nahs. don't like.

*Crying Section*

1. last time you cried your heart out ?
~ can't remember. But it's recently.

2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
~ sadly, yes.

3. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
~nopes. no one wans to lend me.

4. do you cry when you get an injury?
~if it hurts lahs.

5. do certain songs make you cry?
~ yups.

*Pain Section*.

1. what's the worst thing you've done tosomebodyelse?
~Made sumone cried?

2. how depressed can you get?
~ depressed to the extent that I just shut myself out from the rest of the world n not tok.

Happy Section*

1. how much do u smile?
~ everyday =DD

2. what can make you happy?
~ feeling loved by everyone =)

3. do you wish you were happier?
~ haha. whu doesn't?

4. what about being with your friends, does thatmake u happy?
~Yups yups!! Ofcourse! =)

*Love Section*.

1. have you ever loved someone so much, thatyou'd die for them?
~ hmms.. literally yes. hmms.. maeb bahs..

2. did you ever love a person, and tell him/herthat you love him/her?
~yes.

3. have you loved someone so much, it made youcry?
~ haha. yups.

4. has anyone besides your friends and familyeversaid 'i love you' to you?
~ =)

*Self-Esteem Section*

1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
~ not really.

2. do you believe in yourself?
~yups

3. what do you say when people say they thinkyou are good looking/pretty?
~are you mad?

4. are you one of those idiots that think they areugly, dumb, and fat?
~ haha. maeb?

5. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thoughtyou weren't good enough?
~ NO.

6. are you happy with who you are?
~ yups=D uniquely me!

Goin off lers.. hais..
Miss SOMEBODY so much.

*huRtx*

Felt so dumb.
So guilty of everything.
Regretted saying all those shit.
I'm so dumb.
Hais. I deserved to be feeling the pain afterall.
Hate myself...

Must thank Ian fer waiting fer me.
Thank yew fer the selfmade candle.
It's going into my collection.
Next time, don't be so silly okays?
I will be fine de lahs.
All the best to you n yur gurlfren =)

`I hate myself fer being so tactless . . . perhaps I should just shut up forever . . .

* I'm a failure *

I'm feeling lyke a failure right now.
Blow after blow.
Don't know how long I can hold on to everything.
Seriously, I'm feeling lyke a complete failure.
Not that I have lost all my confidence.
Just feeling so weak to carry on.
Just feeling so discouraged and all.
But yarhs, things are going to be all over in three months time.

It's one month till prelims.
95 more days till A lvls.
Time's running out.
And I know I hafta get thru everything no matter how hard it is.
I'm mugging hard right now.
Kinda hard fer me to transform frm a slacker to a mugger.
But I rmbed dennis yeo's lect on fri.
"Are you hungry?" "how hungry are you?"
I'll survive =)

Hmms.. Wus listening to this old but nice song.. =)

My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
Cuz my heart's been through it before
Am I'm just seeing what I want to see
Or is it true
Could you really be

[Chorus:]
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

[Verse 2:]And I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
But I wanna take a chance
Oh please
Give me a reason to believe
Say you're the one that you'll always be
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

[Bridge:]
It's been so hard for me
To give my heart away
But I would give my everything
Just to hear you say...
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love . . . . . .

Such nice lyrics.. =)

`I miss him =(

* survivor of thursday *

Alrights. Guess Wquan wud be darn pleased.
Just taken the password off. *heh*
BUT! It's not fer your sake d lorhs.
It's for the convenience of anyone else but you.
Haha.

Found this on a friend's blog.
And felt lyke doing it since I am kinda bored.

Can you name 11 people you can thinkof right off the top of your head? Don't read thequestions underneath until you write the names of all 11 people...This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first...No Cheating!!!

1) Jeremy
2) Yvonne
3) Esther
4) Peiling
5) Weiquan
6) Khaiboon
7) Kai Jie
8) Evan
9) Ken
10) Zester
11) Florence

How did you meet 10?
`Secondary schmates?

What would you do if you had never met 6?
`there is nth I can do abt that right? it wud mean that I have one less great guyfren =)

What would you do if 6 and 2 dated?
Urms.. kinda impossible.. But I think it wud be interesting to see?

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
urms.. ya.. at the carnival thing that I got her into.

Do you think 1 is handsome?
my honey!! of course=D

Tell me something about number 11:
she is obsessed! heh

How do you know 8?
current classmate

Would you ever go on a date with number 5?
wahh? dun think so.. haha..

What's 7's favorite color?
yellow n black.. haha..

What would you do if 6 confessed they liked you?
*faints* 'cause it's impossible?

Fact about 9:
he's a 'fisherman'

Who is 4 going out with?
ME! she's MINE! =D

who is number 5 to you?
a great guyfren =D

Would you ever live with 11??
why not? I wun mind. ha

Is 2 single?
yes..she's mine too =)

Where does 7 live?
in choa chu kang..

What do you think about 3?
super gentle n sweet gurl=D

What's the best thing about number 8?
urms. I am not sure lehs.

What do you like about number 10?
ehh.. his determination when it cums to mugging?

Favorite Memory with 2?
kboxing sessions n my BDAY.

Finally done!! haha.
Am going fer dinner soon..
Having quite a bad headache.. *sobx*
OH! tml, my two darlings are cuming over to my plc fer a great time =D Wee!!! *hapi hapi*

* mixed feelings *

Hmms. Today is an OKAY day.
My GP tutor didn't come.
Basically, had three and a half hour of BREAK fer todae.
Super relaxed day *grinx*
Had bioethic lect by sum old man after sch.
Wus alright lahs.
I wasn't really listening anewaes *heex*
Wus busy looking at people falling asleep *evil grinx*
Stayed back after sch, tot that Fei wld be running fer the trial.
But he didn't; so I just hung ard and slacked while flor n peipei mugged on.
Wasn't in the mood to study aneways.

Hmms. Went meet daddy after I left sch.
Hung ard at CWP.
When we finally got on our way home, it was already SEVEN-THIRTY.
I was lyke, "oh my tian"...
Den wanted to rush home immediately, but this guy walked past me.
Found him rather familiar.. so I stared unpolitely. *heh*
He noticed me n turned back..
He gave me his killer smile!! *melts*
And he remembered me!!
I still can't believe that I actually met kaijie by such coincidence lahs.
It's been lyke two years lers..
Ohh.. He's my ex-colleagues..
And he is the veryveryveryvery superduper cute version of Fei.
Nono.. I'm not thinking of fishing now.
Heheh.. Just happy that I met him again =D

Going to do my GP homework lers.
buh-bye~

*boring tuesday*

Kinda realised that I quite lyke the font Verdana fer a change. haha. So round n big =D

Oh wells. Todae's a long boring tuesday.
Had many many lessons todae.
The thing is, I didn't fall asleep at all.
Not even a sense of sleepness throughout the day.
Just mere restlessness.
Had morn assembly in the hall again.
Much to Flor's delight.
It wus pouring lahs.
Nearly had to get help frm the guys again.
Hmms. My neck is gettin worse, I guess.
Too much ogling at cute guys *haha*
That's what pei said.
But.. not true lahs.. haha..
There are NO cute guys ard.
PE wus great.
Except fer my blur-ness during the game.
And the SUNBURNT.
By right, I shldn't get sunburnt so easily de.
It must be 'cause I have been away from the sun fer too long.
HAISH.

Got lotsa practices that I have to do.
Been feeling down.
Gastric pains.
Losing sleep *argh*
And crying myself to sleep too *hais*
Realised that I shldn't be bothered too much anemore.
No point.
Am going to change my hp number again pretty soon, I guess.
Can I choose to be happy forever?

Am going back to studying now.
Sumhow, I wish I would fall REALLY SICK.
Then I can have a good rest and not care about anething.
I must be mad.
Maybe I really am. *shrugs*

=(

xin's tired
TIRED
TIREDDDDDDD.......... ='(

*am too bored*

xin has been too bored after doing her testimonial on the school portal
and came across this nice friendster bulletin post which she thinks it's rather sweet . . .

A girl talking to her BF by the roadside . . . . . .
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No...
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really...
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: Nope
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: Hell No...
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: Of coz no...
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No...
Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?
Boy: I choose My Life

The girl runs away with such shock and pain in her heart
but the boy runs after her and shouted loudly....

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind...
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you...
The reason I don't want you is because I need you...
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left me...
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you...
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you...
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

So sweet right? haha. =D
Do all guys do that?
haha.
As in, saying sumthing when they meant another?
Anewaes, this is to everyone out there,
Tell her/him ' I love you' everyday for fear that tomorrow is not another . . .

*blank*

It wus supposedly a great day.
'cause I got to meet my bf,
And got to spend sum quality time with him.
Wus really really hapi with him ard.
love him so so so much.

But, I hate the state I'm in right now.
I'm totally stressed out.
By everything..
First, I'm worried about my brother.
My real blood relations bro.
I don't dare to face him now 'cause of my phobia fer piercings..
Argh..
Am worried that he would be in bad company and stuffs.

Next, I stil hate the state I'm in.
Am still stressed out.
Maybe worse...
My A lvls are cuming..
And I'm finding it hard to conc with all the ongoing stuffs.
I hate the TAXI policy
If you get what I mean, you don't, then forget it.
Used to enjoy it..
Not that it brings about temptations..
It's just VERY troublesome...
It spoils friendships..
HATE IT!!
Can you please let me go..?
It's no point holding on any longer..
Let me go.. please?

Perhaps I just need sum time alone to think about everything.. I am tired...

hapihapisaturday!!

Hapihapisaturday!!

Went out wif celest, boon, wquan, keatkee n zester.
Ben didn't turn up *shrugs*
The guys were quite shy initially.
So not their usual self lahs.
haha. But it was fun though.
Seeing them bickering awae.
Giving each other's secrets away while me n celest listen on.
Did sum duet wif boon n zes.
*claps* they were not bad wors =)
Did a couple of jay chou's songs with wquan
I didn't noe he cld sing wors. haha.
It wus a pleasant surprise though=)
Sang with my darling celest too =)
Took sum nicenice neoprints!!
SO FUN!! =DD

Sumhow, seeing everyone crapping awae.
Shooting each other with vulgarities..
All those immature acts in the kbox..
Sumhow, it didn't as though we all have been awae frm one another fer very long..
The feelings n all were just so familiar..
At times, when school gets too boring and dead fer me..
I would realise that I am actually missing these good frens of mine.
Miss all those good times =)

Met up with von after that. hmms. 'cause Jer cldnt make it. oh wells. Went shoe-shopping with von. It wus lotsa fun!! haha. Saw this pair of reali nice looking flats. Oh my tian. haha. Got the urge to buy lorhs. haha. haha. hmms. Had a nice dinner after getting what von wants. And then we met a couple of interesting people. Pretty friendly though. =)

`the day would haf been so much happier with him. It's been 22days lers..='(

*04UNzip*

Let me explain the title of this entry. haha. I'm finally meeting up with sum unzippers that I haven been goin out with fer a LONG LONG time. Hehehx. Especially Celestine. Haven gone out with her fer ages. A year and seven months le lorhs. While wquan, boon, zes, keatkee, it's just seven months. haha. Feel so guilty towards my darling celest. hehehx. But yups, we are finally meeting up TML! *so looking forward!!*

hmms. now fer the usual boring updates of my life...

1. I flunk my midyears.
2. It's been three weeks since I met up with my boyfren *sighs*
3. Been very cranky recently.
4. On-off fevers *hate it*
5. I'm finally going to step down from my post.
6. Cried two times fer Flor n Helmi.
7. Went to keep my darling Peiling company while she did her last day of CIP.
8. Met an adorable kid whu sat down beside me n refused to leave *heex*

Think that's about it bahs. haha. Had so much fun in the library today though I wus having abit of a headache still. Adorable kids just rawk my life =D OH yarhs, wus toking to Peiling n Yvonne abt our dear 'sister' 's bdae. No sarcasm orite? I am just not disclosing her name here. hmms. I've been having the urge to tell about the truth as to why everyone don't wana be with her or even around. I just feel so hypocrtitical, everytime I had to just smile fakely, act normally even though I was way disgusted about her behaviour. Heys. I am badly tramautised, just sitting beside her during lects, even if it's just fer an hour. It's scary lorhs. I guess everyone shld get what I mean. I don't mean to be evil or what. If I had intended to be evil, I would have just yell at her each time she starts doing it. Shouldn't we tell her nicely? I know she might cry. But the truth always hurts. And, if she's going out to the society to work, people won't be able to stand her either. And things won't be any better then. I guess, I would tell her soon. Stop my agony. As well as everyone's. And to help her be a more acceptable person.

Gona go off lers. Promise honey that I would do my practices. =)

`If I die, would you cry? If I stab myself, would you feel the pain?

Past and Present Day

Today's Pjc's Past and Present Day. haha. Went back to school early in the morn to support sanjay n evan's band. They were so fabulous! Great guitarists. Great drummer. N a great vocalist! The vocalist has a superb voice that can beat every single one of the contestant left on the Singapore Idol lahs. I can vouch fer that. And it's not very often that you hear such good comments from me. Usually, I'm very critical towards singers. But her, I have nothing to say. =)

Went to buy alcohol wif flor after the band thingy. haha. Den walked to her void deck to drink n have a heart-to-heart talk.=DD hmms. Den walked all the way back to lot one fer dinner. haha. Went home after that. And you know what?!! haha. I saw sumone. And the sumone saw me jus when I turned lorhs. haha. Just smiled n waved. =DD And another coincidence is that that sumone wus wearing the same jersey as me!! oh my tian lahs.. haha.. But ya.. nth much lahs. Jus abit high 'cause it wus so much of a coincidence. Nothing more than that. =)

hmms.. anewaes, I am feeling SAD! I got a big fat F fer my maths. argh. Am so dead. I just feel so stupid. Maybe, I really am. =(

Portugal vs France

Let me start off with the good news first kays? =DD
1. The freaking midyears are OVER!! *FREEDOM!*
2. No more worrying about sleepless nights!!
3. I have four and a half days of HOLIDAYS!! ~ *aren't you jealous of me?*
4. It's smart and casual day on MONDAY!! *no more penguins outfit.*
5. World Cup Final is on Monday!! *wahahah*
6. The best-est thing of all, I get to report LATE fer school on Monday!! *whee~*
*I'm overly hyper today! =D

hmms. Now, fer the not-so-good stuffs. argh.
1. No meeting Jer anemore.
2. Jer's exams are cuming *meaning that he'll have even LESSER time fer me=( *
3. I'm dying from lovesickness *sobssobs*
4. There is no official school holiday on Monday *can't risk ponning klass again.. gona get blacklisted veri soon*
5. Getting back the freaking papers on Monday?!! *why are teachers so freakingly efficient when it comes to letting us face our fears?*
6. I'm so going to flunk my midyears *No doubt about it*
7. Going to have tea in the Principal's Office veri soon. *Actually, I prefer coffee=D hehe*
8. It's 3 more months to PRELIMS
9. FOUR more months to A lvls *eww..*
10. And FOUR MORE MONTHS till FREEDOM is a LONG LONG time :( *goes crazy*

Yups. that's about it fer the updates. oh yarhs!! A reminder to all! Saturday's preformance must turn up wors!! My dear fren, Peiling's sanjiii, Flor's honeyyy is performing. And not forgetting our dear philosophical EVAN!! =DD alrights. Be sure to turn up fer a great time kays? =)

*sadexpression*

What is there to be said?
Been rather sick these few days..
Feeling giddy... Feverish n all..
All I can do, is sleep n sleep n stil SLEEP.
But all those sleeping seems to be doing me more harm than good.
argh.
True, I have been sleeping alot.
But NOT WELL.
Sobs..
Been drifting in and out of sleep.
This is so BAD!
I'm feeling weaker n sick-er by the day.
This simply sucks.
sobs...

Hmms. Tml's econs papers. FYI, I haven't hit my books yet. Don't think I ever will. Am too sick to absorb any information into my drowsy brain right now. Hais. Oh mans. Think I'm worse off than jus being dead fer this midyears. ha. Things aren't really going well fer me at this point of time. hais. Just feeling lost. oh wells. Back to resting. tata~

xin's back!

the german n argentina match is on right now. haha. My living room is in a mess. Rowdy guys. Almost drunk. Tsk! Current score: 1-1 Oh wells. I need a break from the rowdiness and alcoholic smell there. haha. That's why I am blogging fer awhile=D

Hmms. Its been awhile since I blogged. Nothing much is happening in my life, I guess. Mid-year exams are ending soon. I'm kinda slowly getting back on track. I need lotsa motivation! hais. *shrugs* It's five more months to FREEDOM! Whee~

Went towning todae. Jer wanted to meet me. But HAIS. It didn't work out. Shucks. I miss him sososososo much lahs. *sobs* Saw alot of ppl in town. Sorry ppl. I'm not really in a very sociable mood todae, 'cause I'm missing sumone far too much. =( hais. He's out wif his frens watching the match while I'm stuck home with the rowdy guys. HAIS!

*short interruption: second half jus ended: 1-1. extra time starting in awhile.. Noise level increasing.. Sum of the drunk n rowdy guys just lost money..wahahah..I am evil=Pp*

hmms. I'm returning to the tv soon. Just saw this veri meaningful nick which just popped up.. "Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face, but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul." Oh mans.. this is sooo.. true, I guess? =) Enjoy the matches, guys=) Dun gamble too much. =DD

SICK

SICKSICKSICKSICK.
I can't believe I'm sick again!!
argh.
I think I'm missing him far too much.
Maybe, that's why!
I'm lovesick.
Where are you when I need you most right now? ='(

Hmms. Can't blame him. He's got his own life. Sobs. Don't lyke having a fever. My temp din go down! It went UP! argh. I need him around. ='( hais. Tml got maths mock exams. I'm so goin to flunk it. Wus so busy doing sum dumb stuffs which sumone wun even appreciate. N I didn't get to study much. Sianned. Hopefully, I would die of a fever tonight. Save me the trouble of doing so many things. Save me the trouble of going to school to flunk my paper. haish. I'm becoming sadistical. This is bad.

`FIVE MORE DAYS. I don't think you even rmb.. =(

Peanut attacks !!!

Hees. I know my title shows kinda ridiculous. Haha. Shall tok about it lata. haha. Am feeling quite sick right now. Yups. Am sick again. Been lacking rest, I guess. Plus the dumb rain! argh. Urms in case aneone is wondering why am I blaming the rain.. I'm a lazy person whu hates to bring an umbrella along with me even if my bag is relatively empty. *grins*

Anewaes. Went school early in the morn fer Geog. Urms. I got to sit beside Peipei's 'good sister' aka Scritchy Scratchy. Opps =X Alrights. I'm evil lahs. But I really got real tramautised lahs. So much so that I wus having a psychological reaction. Argh. Oh mans. I felt as though I wus going to jus yell at her in the end of geog lect lahs. Or just turn to my side n slapped her in the face. Sheesh. I feel bitchy. Geog lect wus relatively ok lahs. Managed to get thru it with little difficulty; in fact, I wus paying attention most of the time except fer short moments when I turned n whined at Flor. haha. Poor Flor. =P

Hmms. Sat ard while toking to Clement. Don't why I trust him alot. haha. He's a great fren, I guess. haha. hmms. Purposely took my time in strolling to my extra lesson venue. I wus the oni one frm the klass. Poor Xin. haha. BUT! CHIA wus late lahs. Waited ard 15 mins. Time wus rather well-spent 'cause I wus playing soccer on my hp. It's addictive n great game! haha. Extra lesson wus boring. Felt so sleepy lahs. Wus practically resisting the urge to dozing off but CHIA wus right in front of me. All I cld do is to scribble on my notes while keeping awaking. Hees.

Went to look fer hellmate n flor in the canteen. First time see Hellmate so excited to eat lunch with me. She must be starving lorhs. haha. Studied awhile. Den fooled ard when Sanjay came n joined us. Den Gimsiong n helmi came as well. Tsk. Distractions! hmms. But we had fun lorhs. Crapping and all. haha. I practically didn't study after that lorhs. Oh yarhs. Played Bridge with Black, Helmi, one indian guy. Its so addictive lahs. I won quite abit. Beginner's luck. I can't believe I finally learnt the game!! *so happy* Flor wus busy toking on the phone while peipei wus watching us. As flor wus a distance away, we started attacking her with peanuts. haha. So funny lahs. Then, I suddenly said to my comrades that I am goin to demo a headshot. haha. And I hit flor right on the forehead with the peanut. haha. *a sense of achievement* Peipei joined in the game after the indian guy left and got really addicted. haha. Both of us were. haha. We won quite abit together. SO happy. The two experienced ones losing to newbies. wahaha. =DDD Left school ard 7 plus before Gerald Boh cums about. But then again, its really okay lahs. He's alrdy a fren of mine. He will give me face de lahs. Or perhaps he will even join in lahs.

Alrights. This is a rather crappy entry. haha. Gona go off liaos. Need a rest badly. =(

`I wus worried. Dead worried. ='(

060606

060606
Thats the date of todae.
So unique rights?
Its oni cums once in a lifetime. And I got to spend it with flor *my great buddy*, peipei *my gorgeous hellmate* n leen *my kboxing cum swimming buddy*.
It's such a happy happy n great day!! =DD

Alrights. We went to watch The Omen. Great movie. I said so 'cause it wus better than what I had expected lahs. I had very bad expectations of it. But it didn't bore me to sleep. So that's one good thing, I guess? There wus thrill, suspense, abitbit of gross scenes. But overall, it's acceptable by my standard. At least, I didn't think I wasted money on my movie ticket. It wus a great horror comedy fer me, I must say. haha. Alrights. Kidding. haha. Memorable movie *satisfied look*

Met celestine in sch fer the second time this week. And got reminded that I hafta to meet up with her real soon. haha. Haish. I'm really a bad fren. Keep neglecting my good frens. Think will meet up with her, boon n the rest fer a catching-up session this fridae bahs. But, cum to think of it, there is cellgroup on fridaes. Urms. But then again, I am changing church lers. So, it wldnt do much harm if I skipped it rights? haha. Shall think it thru before I decide bahs.

Gona go study maths lers. Must start mugging!! Oh. Anewaes, duno if dear will see this. Good luck fer your econs test tml. =)

`you complete my life.

Would you rather. . .?

Would you rather choose
a) A guy who loves you more than you love him,
b) A guy whom you love more than he loves you?

Sumone just asked me this. Such chiminology. *slaps forehead* And my answer? haha. I don't need a guy who loves me more than I love him. But of course, that would be best lahs! haha. hmms. As fer a guy whom I love more than he loves me? Urms.. its alrights fer me bahs. But if I were to choose? Urms..Of course having a guy who loves you more wld be more blissful, i guess. ;) But then, love can't be quantified. Its unmeasurable. haha. I'm crapping as usual. Its not abt who loves who more, I guess? Its more of a mutual thing bahs. haha. *blehs*

Hmms. I realised that I haf got alot of movies that I want to watch!! haha. I wana watch theomen,silenthill,benchwarmers,garfield2,she'stheman,slither,xmen3,toofasttoofurious-tokyodrift,cars!!!! ahh.. But then, duno why, I don't seem to haf the mood fer movies lehs. Contradictory again. haha. Weird me. =(

`i miss you real bad. . .

Boring Weekend

I can't believe that I actually stayed home fer the whole day today. haha. Too bad, no one asked me out. *shrugs* I'm quite back to being myself again ler, i guess? haha. hmms. Must thank my beloved boyfren fer staying up to cheer me up even though he wus darn sleepy. Haha. So sorry to deprive you of your sleep. =) *hugx* you're the best ler.. =)

Din do much today. Boyfren's away. N no one wans to date me out. Oh wells. Its a lonely saturday. And I spent it obediently at home. haha. My parents were shocked to see me home on a weekend *blehs* haha. Hmms. Am really looking forward to tomorrow!! haha. Heex.. Think is the first outing I am goin out wif the ogls bahs. Oh mans. I haf been so anti-social recently. But, yups, a miracle has happened as zhao said. haha. =) Its gona be a whole lot of fun!! *wheeee!!*

Gona turn in pretty early todae, i guess. hmms. But before that, I am goin out fer dinner first. =DD tata~

tiring tiring day . . .

Just reached home not long ago. Tired. Totally worn out. Haha. Went sch early in the morn fer geog lect. Wus late 'cause I took the wrong bus. haha. Got the good news that tml no lect. So happy that I cldn't concentrate. Haha. Went lotone fer MAC breakfast wif flor n leen. Den slacked ard wif them till leen's mummie finally got back to us, allowing us to use her place to continue slacking. Haha. But FLOR PANGSEH-ed us lahs. *hmmphs* You're NOT forgiven. *hmmphs* Leen's place is full of fun. haha. Her little sis is so cute n sociable!! haha. Yups. Fooled ard fer quite abit n both me n leen just fell aslp on the floor. heex. ANd got videoed by her little sis. Sheesh. Den when we woke up, we played the piano awhile den went to watch abit of tv. Left her home oni when leen went fer her haircut. Went home alone. *sobx* Met Linn on the bus to the mrt n saw rhoda too. Both stil as sweet n pretty. haha.

Den DUMBASS junwei had to msg me n tell me tt he spoilt my guitar : "ehh.. I made a hole in ur guitar." Oh my tian lahs. He really is a dumbass. N I just replied him coldly, " oh ok.." Den he told me he wus just kidding with me. What the hell lahs. Not funny lorhs. True lahs, I dun play my guitar anemore but stil gt gan qing one mahs. haha. And that kuku din tell me that he wanted a classical one. DUMBASS PIGGY YAP!

Tml might be goin out. See lorhs. Hopefully can go shopping. Heex. =D Stil kinda sick.. *shrugs* Immune is down again. I dun lyke this week!! So packed!! I need a break!! =( *but I'm looking forward to dinner on Sunday!*

Happy Birthday to Me

I wld lyke to announce that I haf the best bdae ever! The most memorable, greatest, most interesting n fun bdae ever!! =D

Special thanks fer ppl whu wished me.. a big big thank yew to :von,ster,flor,boon,mydearest jer, shanshan, junhao, suxian, jh kor, sengpeng, ebo, peipei, eileen, rhoda, linn, weelun, mag, ade, nessa, helmi, evon, wquan n eric.. thanks fer rmbing =)

Special special thanks fer PRF.. thanks fer making my bdae celebration so memorable. haha. thanks quackiex. -__- oh wells.. Reali love the collage n gift.. n esp the celebration. U all have brought so much joy n laughters into my life. I am reali grateful to God fer good frens lyke you all.. abab loves u all=D

Special special thanks to von n shaofen. thanks fer the nice bracelet. heex. its reali veri nice. I so hapi to receive it lahs. Got stars nehs!! =D love ya all. n thanks von fer the nice memories booklet.. its so sweet of you lorhs.. I love you!! =D

Special special thanks to minghong, ster n von ... thanks fer walking the BIG walk wif me. haha.. thanks fer the accompany thruout.. thanks fer the wonderful surprise.. its reali pleasant.. N i am really touched.. I love you all!! =D

Special special thanks to ebo! thanks fer being a great company. hmms. thanks fer the treats n gifts. haha. I feel so bad fer having you spend so much.. =( anewaes. I reali had lotsa fun.. the movie rawks lahs. haha. thanks fer putting a smile on my face even though, I am so shagged. I will always rmb what u said to me..=)

Special special thanks to Jer.. thanks fer taking the trouble to meet me.. Sory fer having you shorten ur KL trip. urms. yups.. thanks fer spending time wif me.. hais.. too bad, time just flew past so quickly before I knew it.. yups.. thanks alot.. you gav a happy ending to my bdae.. =D I love euu.. =)

lastly.. just wana say.. THANK YEW!!

ps: more details n pics will be up tml.. got so many nice pics.. weeeeeeeee~ i love you all !!=D *hugs*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR=D

Oh wells. todae's my dear's bday. happy birthday to him once again. hmms. Oh wells. He's too busy enjoying himself wif his frens again. hmms. oh wells. Can't blame him. Its his day. *shrugs* =) hmms.

Todae just sucks. Gees. My poor jc1s hafta help the concert band put chairs n remove them. hmms. Sorry eileen. Not that I dun enjoy wrking wif you. But I dun lyke to do such SAI KANG wrk. N whats worse is that all of us merely got sabo-ed! argh. Hmms. And what do we get frm all this? Pathetic CIP hrs. oh wells. If we needed CIP hrs, we can organise more interesting things lorhs. And if the job is badly done, we get all the blames. How great! =( Dun lyke. Dun lyke. argh. Ther goes my weekend. argh.

Am so so so so sick. I think I m losing my voice. argh. haish. This sucks lahs. hmms. =( sobs. anewaes, gona thank ebo fer comforting me. you rawkx. hmms. thanks alot. =) thanks fer making my dae alittle beta. haha. Gona go rest lers. haven been resting enuff lately. Been too busy. argh. =( I need retail therapy!! But I heard that friday I've got rehearsal?!! @!#%!%@$@ argh. I'm dying of stress n depression. I need retail therapy. BADLY!! =(

`Off to bed liaos. =(

I PONNED SCHOOL TODAE!!

Before I start on my post...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JER! *though its few hrs earlier*

Alrights. Done. Yups. I ponned school todae. Fer my dear. haha. Heard that half the class ponned sch too. Geez. Its becuming the klas's trend lers. Tsktsktsk. Can't believe this bunch of us are taking the A lvls in a few mths' time. >.<

Oh wells. Hmms. Woke up darn early todae. Haha. All the msges. haha. Cldnt go back to slp. haha. Hmms. Dear called me when he woke up before he went sch fer miting. Den I went out ard one plus to go get cake fer him. heys. I rmbed to bring a lighter!! haha. So proud of myself. Heex. Passed him everything in the car. Argh. Sang bdae song fer him too even though I had a bad throat todae. Duno whether he's touched or nts. haha. hmms. Oh wells. Yups. Went watch Poseidon n MI 3.. Nt bad lahs. Its been sum time since I watched movies wif dear. hmms.. yups. I enjoyed myself todae. Perhaps.. more than he did. *grins*

Hmms. Oh yarhs. My PE teacher called me halfway thru MI3. But I din noe whu she is. Until the end of the call.. then both of us realised whu we were toking to. haha. So funny lahs. Aneways. Gona get real busy liaos.. hmms.. The club is involved in College Day. *gosh*

`i noe what i wan fer my bdae lers - fer you to spend it wif me . . .

a lesson fer the guys

I found this on my friendster's account. And found to be rather meaningful n true..

A lot of guys don't know, girls can flare their temper on them, but when the girls turn back, they are actually crying.
A lot of guys don't know, girls won't really get angry with them, because they really love and care about them.
A lot of guys dont know. girls will only nag at the guys they love, and will only be stubborn to the guys they love.
Guys must know, if the girl don't love you, she won't even care about you and nag you, she does so cos she is afraid you will do the wrong stuff.
Guys must know, if the girl don't love you, she won't even vent her anger on you, won't act cute infront of you and won't let you dote her because infront of other people,
she is just nothing much.
Guys must know, if the girl don't love you, you won't even have the ability to make her cry, even ifyou cause her to be angry for you for more than 2days.
All these is because she loves you, and all these is because you don't really understand and careabout her.
So, if the both of you often quarrel, you will think she has got bad temper, and she will think youdont give in to her.
So, if the both of you often get into cold war, you will think she dont love you, and she will think you dont care about her.
So, both of you always ridiculously missed each other,
maybe missing each other is a type of saddening helplessness and happiness.
Because she loves you, that is why she vents her anger on you and often cute in front of you.
Because she loves you, that is why she will get angry with you.
And because she loves you, she won't be angrywith you for a long period of time.
Do you guys know, every girl's heart is made of crystals, flashy but easily broken.
Do you guys know, every girl don't build a wallaround herself, you easily land inside her heart andleft wounds when you leave.
Every girl doesn't know, in this world, no one can make her cry,
because the person who is worthy of her tears won't bear to let her cry.
Every girl will possess this personality, she will be bossy, she will be cold to you, she will tell you to go away,
but actually.. in her heart, she wants youto stay..
So please, lift up your ears and open your heart,
listen to her desires and needs in her heart,
but not listen to those stubborn words from her mouth.
She will watch you turn away, then she will turn away
and when she turns away, you won't see her tears,
those are tears in her heart.
So if you love her, please always stay by her side.
If you love her, please dote on her more.
If you love her, please give in more to her.
If you really love her, please listen to her true feelings in her heart,
which is a form of screaming.
Please open your arms and hug her.
In the world of love, both of you always hurt each other, as if only this can prove how much you love each other.
But in love, there is no one who is right or wrong,and no such thinkings of me having more than youor you having less than me.
You love her and she loves you, this is already sufficient,
you don't have to purposely hurt her,causing both of you to be more sad and weak.
What you need in loving each other is being gentle, being happy, being sweet
but not hurting each other.
Don't have cold war, don't be stubborn, not giving into each other,
and please don't leave without saying a word..
You must know, when you leave, you see nothingin your eyes, you don't see the tears in her eyes.
The more quietness, the more cold war, this is hurting each other.
No matter how you patch with her, these scars will always exist, no matter how you try to remove it..
Please give her a hug,
use it to remove the sadness and tears in her heart.
If she loves you, she won't reject your hug,
she will only be afraid of ur coldness and leaving without a word.
So, if you love her,
love her everything so that all those attitude problem will become her cuteness.
She don't need you turning away like she said,
she only need your hug and love..

`Should I follow what my heart says or my mind?

=( )=

Todae had been a great day. Having yvonne ard doing shopping n stuffs. Thanks alot dear. Thanks fer accompanying me walk ard fer so long n fer tolerating the indecisive me. Reali thanks alot. And nidda apologise to peipei, susu, leen n liyi fer my attitude todae. 'Cause I'm really in a rush. Not that I'm unwilling to shop wif u gurls. I wld love to. But todae, I'm really rushing fer time. So sorry.

Wus almost late fer dental appt. hmms. My dentist lyke can't wait to get rid of me lidat. hmms. My appt ended in lyke less than 10 mins? haha. hmms. then walked hm. 'Cause I'm too broke to take cabby lers. ='(

Hmms. Just went online nt too long ago. Sumone familiar msged me. A sumone whom had been too busy fer me. *shrugs* oh wells. If I say I ain't disturbed by what that sumone said, I'm lying. Haha. And I'm always a bad liar. Sheesh. hmms. Its the same thing that has been bothering me all along. Such a coincidence. Oh wells. What can I do? I can oni take a step at a time n hope fer the better? I'm lost. I need sumone badly. ='(

"I tell you i love you every day for fear that tomorrow isn't another" - quoted frm evan's entry *this is how I feel as well*

=D

I am a happy girl.

Met up wif my beloved boyfren ysd. After a longlong wait lahs. *hmmphs* Dun lyke waiting. But I dun haf ane choice. *shrugs* Its lyke I only get to meet him once in a blue moon. *sobx* hais. Hmms. oh wells. I enjoyed myself ysd, nevertheless. =D My boyfren is the best-est!! *hugs* But sadly, time always seems to fly when I'm wif him lorhs. Hours just FLEW passed n he had to drive me home again =( If only..I'm on the top of your priority list.. =(

Hmms. The coming week is goin be a short week. 'Cause friday is a holiday! hmms. But I lyke fridays of all the days lorhs. Its a geography day! Duno why lahs. I just love geog. Heex. Hmms. Oh yarhs. I haf yet to shop fer Shan's bday. Uhoh. DIE! Stil duno what to get her. I'm on a tight budget!! haha.

Gona get to my studying lers. Peipei n my boyfren are starting to worry fer my studies. Can't let them down. Oh yarhs.. In case, I dun get to blog fer the next few days.. Just wana say.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIQUAN!! You'll always be my great guyfren. May all your wishes cum true. And I'm sure you'll get the girl of ur dreams soon..

` Time seems to drag whenever you're not by my side . . .

sadsadsmiley

Paradoxical title.

I am SICK! =`( *sobx*

The worst thing is, Napfa is TML! How great! I'm going to flunk it bad. I can't jump. I can't reach. I can't sprint well enuff. I can't pullup. *sheesh* My PE teacher's going to kill me lahs. And ther's freaking econs test tml. ESSAY test. How cool! -__-

And what's worse is that, I missing him far too much.. =`(

And here's part of my fav song =)

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face
Lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand
Says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all ...

Post labour day

MY QUACKIEX IS BACK!! I am sosososo happy lahs. alrights. I beta stop showing my gaga-ness over my hellmate. 'cause my beloved boyfren just told me that I sound lesbian-ish. Sobs. How can lidat sae me?!! =((

Life's tiring. I practically lost sleep last night. I din sleep a wink. And right now, my eyes are straining painful. hmms. oh wells. Duno why. Just cldn't get to slp. Perhaps, I am missing him too much? hmms. Hais. Whu asked my boyfren to be so busy?!! argh. *hmmphs*

Anewaes. Todae had geog test. And I actually studied fer it last night. Wahaha. BUT! Ended up my dear handsome geog teacher told me its goin to be an openbook test. How nice! =( All my efforts gone to waste. Lost hope in studying lers. Oh yarhs. I duno whats wrong wif my dumb maths teacher. She just can't teach lahs. Keep on wasting my precious time. Oh my gosh. Now she wana haf maths lessons on saturdae as well. Ther goes my precious weekend. Argh. Haha. I am goin to MUG fer maths and get a B! hmms.. not veri achieveable.. but I'll try ya? But then hors.. World Cup cuming!! Jialat. Think Yvonne's cuming ova to stayover. Heex. Can haf company to watch the matches wif. No longer lonely.=DD

Gona go off n try studying econs. =DD I am a gd gurl. WEE! =DD

`the oni thing I wan fer my birthday is, happiness..